fries and ice cream
apparently this is my homework
I love that moment. When you’re on a long car ride, or listening to music, or reading. And you completely zone out. You forget your troubles, and everyone around you. You’re focused on that one thing, and that one thing only. You’re content, and everything seems peaceful.(via khanhvo)

(Source: larmoyante)


I'm gonna need some morphine in here
*unintelligible muttering*
Don't worry we're getting you something for the pain.
*murmuring*...-phine
Morphine?? It should be here any moment now.
*gasping* No...what I need...is cophine.

mamrie:

tyleroakley:

gracehelbig:

comets-rockets-helbig:

image

mamrie hart everyone

I LOVE THIS TOO MUCH

MAMRIE WHAT IS HAPPENING

INTERVIEWS ALWAYS BE CREEPING UP BEHIND ME.

bri-ecrit:

gentlemanbones:

Link!

(Source: sandandglass)


(I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)
“Excuse me, sir?”
“Yes, ma’am?”
“I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
“Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
“Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
(The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)
“We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
“Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
(I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)
“Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
“Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
“I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
“Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
(My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)
*digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
*to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
“I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”
(Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)

(Source: amazinqphil)

you’ve all been given a specific role and code name.

(Source: c-mines)

movie:

Young Adult (2011) follow movie for more movie quotes and posts

movie:

Young Adult (2011) follow movie for more movie quotes and posts

ottermatopoeia:

onlylolgifs:

amazing dog trick 

thip

ottermatopoeia:

onlylolgifs:

amazing dog trick 

thip

Well, you know what to do, Make it trend for this amazing woman. She deserves this and I’m so proud of her. Cant wait to read the book :)

Well, you know what to do, Make it trend for this amazing woman. She deserves this and I’m so proud of her. Cant wait to read the book :)

grace helbig grace guide

edwardspoonhands:

oroxine:

poyzn:

There is someone out there for everybody.

It just might be a goose.

Oh God, I hope not…


octobootle:

when you think your cramps are finished but then

image


seeminglydeepstatement:

somefantasticallies:

vivalatrench:

mrsugarpink:

rapewhistled:

followmehome:

It’s not “bacon,” it’s a pig.

It’s not “veal,” it’s a calf.

It’s not “steak,” it’s a cow.

It’s not “meat,” it’s an animal…

its not “fruit”, its dividing cells that accumulate fructose…

it’s not delivery. it’s digiorno.

It’s not a scene, it’s a god damn arms race

It’s not “levioSA”, it’s “leviOsa”

Maybe it’s Maybelline 


partism:

Pretty girls make me want to punch myself in the face

leightimtam:

dommibear:

sugarspicenotallnice:

ask-gallows-callibrator:

IS WONDER WOMAN TELLING HER TO GO STAB THOSE BOYS AND PROBABLY KILL THEM

Yes

G

GOOD

(Source: spoopytodd)